Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Sorry about my life...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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