You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Enjoy the penises
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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