he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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