she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
