That's intense
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
