it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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