morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
