I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
