He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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