Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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