plz talk dirty to me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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