Banned from zoo.
Again?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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