ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
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my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
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Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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