the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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