So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
