wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
