you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
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No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
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You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize