remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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