the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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