oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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