I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i out mim tonsoeep
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