Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
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