PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
