She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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