Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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