This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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