i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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