quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
