she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.