from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
