Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
