Dual....:-)
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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