using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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