he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize