I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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