his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
