Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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