she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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