In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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