I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize