What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
