No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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