We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
