i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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