You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
