The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
everyone is single if you try hard enough
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I didn't notice because vodka
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I wear drunk well.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
