Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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