while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
