This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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