I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
