question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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