Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
