Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
how drunk are you?
Several
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
