Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Your mouth is God's brothel.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Success! We fucked roommates!
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