I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
