Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
is that a dick in a sweater?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
