I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Ladies don't puke and tell
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
