You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
