I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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