Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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