Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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