he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
