Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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