dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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