Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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