He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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