drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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