your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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