Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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