Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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